Can’t Think of a Pun for This One

Posted: 17th June 2010 by Chuck Flysh in Rant and Ramble

Alright. Updated WordPress to the highest version the server can handle. Smacked a sweet new theme on it. Removed some spam. Updated the permalink structure. Installed some widgets. I think Black Rabite should almost be back in 2010 now.

I know my last post may have been a bit harsh towards a sad little font that only wants to be our friend. I did not mean that this font is a useless rotting mass of flesh that through some sort of wicked sorcery and/or viral infection manages to still stumble over the surface this planet and bring terror and destruction wherever it smells an intact human brain… well, okay, I did call it a zombie apocalypse. But there are several uses for Comic Sans after all! Kinda like in the ending of Shaun of the Dead!

I’ve strained my tasty grey matter to uncover just a few of the million ways one could use Comic Sans for personal or societal benefit:

  1. Put it on a flyer for your party to make sure no designers show up and ruin the mood with their constant gobbledygook technicalese babble.
  2. Use it as a font for the potentially dangerous additives in your chemically enhanced food. No one will take that part serious. It’s way better than fine print.
  3. Make it the official font in all videogames, so children go outside to play or read a book. One printed in a proper font, of course.
  4. Print tax exemption forms with it, which should quickly reduce all of your country’s debts in just a few years.
  5. Write a declaration of war in it, thus not violating any conventions but being able to deliver the first strike, while the enemy still wonder whether you’re for real.
  6. Use it on an application to stress test how much the company really wants you for your skills and adjust your wage negotiations accordingly.

See? Comic Sans can be your friend, if you use it in just the right way! And there are so much more ways in which you can make this frowning typeface feel needed and a valuable member of fontiety. Because excluding a handicapped font just because of its physical properties is just plain wrong. Just, because. And I won’t tolerate any fontism on my blog, no siree!

PS: You have no idea how closely MS Bob escaped font zombie hell.