Since the dawn of time humanity has been competing for the most minor things. Mostly by means of brute force. So I’ll skip that part. But humanity also deveolped the fine arts of painting, music and… Tim-dô!

Posing has been an alternative for inefficient fighting even before we could walk upright. Simply by looking stronger we could avoid losing a limb or other extremities. It didn’t take long for it to become organized, like so many of humanity’s important assets. Soon leaders would hold tournaments to find the best combattants and grant them their honorifics.

But then, for a reason yet unknown to historians, Tim-Dô died out. Wars were waged, blood shed for minor things like borders, religious beliefs and apparently quite attractive ladies. Or major things like resources, freedom and apparently quite attractive ladies. Can’t argue about that one.
Tim-Dô as a weapon became merely part of children’s stories, mostly transformed into wizards hurling fireballs, men healing with the power of their hands or cursing their foes by a mere touch. Or it was kept alive through dances, linking people together by synchronizing their movements.

Even today, remnants of the ancient art run through many parts of our lives. With the power of pointing we get attention, elaborate but also humiliate; with the power of shielding we greet, we beckon, but we also tell others to stop. And sometimes the most primal of moves surface again, to fulfil their actual and only purpose.

I am now going to introduce…

The Phoenix is a recovery pointing move. Facing your opponent, move your whole body at a 45 degree angle to the left while keeping your eyes fixed onto your foe. While doing so, swiftly lift your right arm, extend it straight forward completely and point only your index finger at your opponent. Doing so will leave only a little part of your body open and ideally force your adversary to move from his position and strike from a different angle, leaving you time to plan your next move.
Incidentally there is no lefty version of the Phoenix.

You may now be thinking “But what does the letter ‘A’ stand for if not for an optional lefty version titled ‘B’?” Well, let’s keep this for our next lesson. Patience is the key to mastery, young grasshoppers.

Tim-dô is, as I may just have mentioned before, the best thing since sliced Bleurgers. But why would you want to believe me? I’ll just have you answer that question yourself.

In Tim-dô the aim is to break your adversary’s will by posing him into submission. Basically there are two kinds of moves: Offensive (pointing one or more fingers) and defensive (blocking the pose with the palm of your hand). One of the basic rules of Tim-dô is to not touch your opponent ever, or else they’ll win by default.
So how do you win a match of Tim-dô when you can’t leave the other guy squirming in agony in his own pool of blood? It is much like a game of rock-paper-scissors gone wild. If you do not quickly deflect your opponent’s move and counter with a strong attack yourself, you won’t look too potent to the audience and the referee. This is another basic rule of Tim-dô: Look smug. Look professional. Look good.

How do Tim-dô professionals judge, then? What you need to learn is of course a basic set of moves to switch between. So, here is your first figure to learn:

The Sparrow is the most basic of all moves. Extend your right arm to its full length in front of you and point your index finger at the opponent. Keep your legs steady but comfortable, you won’t need them for this move. While it may look to be full of openings, you will always have your left hand free to block whatever your opponent may be throwing at you or to retaliate against an attack. A variation is the Lefty-Sparrow, where you use your left hand to point and keep your right hand on standby.

Memorise and practise this one till next time, when we’ll have a look at the history of Tim-dô and the second move: The Phoenix.

While I’m still procrastinating working hard on the first real episode of Murphy’s Law, I might bridge that time gap with something special. Tonight you will witness what only few have seen before and lived to tell the story. The ultimate martial art. No blood. No bruises. No body contact. The only thing it will shatter is… your ego. I am of course talking of…

Tim-dô!

Lesser sports have to rely on quickness, stamina, grace or tactics alone. But only one combines everything in what can only be described as pure, primal art.

So, what exactly is Tim-dô? People with no idea whatsoever might refer to it as simple “posing”. But Tim-dô ist more than just your average display of brawn; it is a highly coordinated dance, a battle to the death, a fierce flurry of fast-paced finger-pointing. If I had to call it something, I’d say it’s a bloodsport without bloodshed. So… basically just a sport. But a damn manly one. Which doesn’t exclude women from participating, though. ;<_<

I'll soon be giving you a quick insight on the history of Tim-dô as well as the rules, ranking system and a rudimentary set of moves which I will update from time to time. Stay tuned. I know you will.